Some of my Facebook friends may have seen the live videos I did this morning on Facebook, documenting my mood from pre gym to after my workout.Well, I can say it was tough this morning. I had no energy due to waking before 5am – AGAIN – and I was feeling like I couldn’t be arsed to keep up with it all anymore. However, I also knew from experience that the best thing I could do was go to the gym and focus.
In the past, I could easily have talked myself out of going and blamed someone or something else – but that was in the past. I’m a new person now. I have evidence of my growth over the last 11 months and proof of that in my physical appearance. But today I also reminded myself that I have grown mentally and ignored the voices telling me to give in. Instead of spending the day feeling like a failure for giving in to my negative thoughts and tiredness I got myself out and into that gym.
I find the gym is a sort of sanctuary for me – it’s somehow peaceful and calm, even with the pounding music and the burning in my muscles. I love to be alone and working on me, concentrating on each muscle as I push through the pain. There is something deeply satisfying to me in doing the sets, the reps, the order of the exercises – it all appeals to my sensibilities. Each time I go, I feel stronger.
I am stronger.
Tonight, as I lie in bed listening to the rain outside, I feel the ache that tells me I pushed myself and I feel good. I feel tired but not weary. I feel content.
I am loving my fitness journey and finding out so much more about myself. I’m excited to see where I will be this time next year and I will be updating my blog with progress reports.